They say there are no brakes on the “Feel Train”…
“Feels” is a
shorthand for the word “feelings” that is used to describe an intense emotional
response, such as sadness, excitement or awe. The term is also commonly
associated with the phrase “right in the feels,” which indicates that something
has deeply affected the speaker.
WOW Fact – It’s a
painful experience to be deeply connected with a man/woman, only to find him/her
pulling away and losing interest.
Have you ever been with a man/woman who seemed to really
like/love you, only to begin distancing himself/herself and saying he/she wasn’t
ready for a commitment? It takes a special kind of WOW deep emotional attraction for a man/woman to feel compelled to
keep a man/woman in his/her life with a shared promise of committed intentions
in the future.
I have had so many conversations recently with people asking
me about relationship issues that I have felt compelled to write about this
topic, in reality, this topic affects us all!
“The course of true love never did run smooth” William
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
WOW Fact – How right
Shakespeare was!!!
Stress is often a big factor in relationship problems,
whether it’s the demands of work, bringing up children or challenges posed by
redundancy, retirement etc Most damaging of all for many relationships are the
after-effects of an affair.
WOW Fact – but just
as certain behaviours can jeopardise a relationship, others can strengthen it,
including:
- Trust
- Share decision-making
- Intimacy – physical, emotional and psychological
- Sexual attraction
- Investing time and energy in working at the relationship
- Emotional support for each other
- Positive actions, whether this is giving your partner a hug, being ready to listen when they need to talk or even bringing them a cup of tea
- Clear communication
- Negotiation skills
- Tolerance, flexibility and patience
I dislike the word ‘baggage’ however most people use this
word in terms of a relationship. So if I were to say what “Louis Vuitton” did
you bring to your relationship what would you reply? In my experience, people
have strong like bull views about everything from how the household should be
run to the kind of sex life they expect. WOW
Fact – lots of this expensive baggage comes from upbringing and previous
relationships and also men and women often have very different approaches to
the various issues that crop up in a relationship.
So what is the WOW
answer? TALK THROUGH YOUR MUTUAL
EXPECTATIONS
It’s crucial that you have an honest discussion with your
partner about your expectations for the relationship. Who’s going to clean the
house? Who is responsible for childcare? How will you handle the finances? How
much ‘personal’ time should you each have? How often should you expect to have
sex? What are your respective views on fidelity, commitment and trust?
If you’re lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, you’ll agree on most
things but most likely, you’ll both need to compromise.
MAKE TIME FOR FUN
TOGETHER
Many relationships suffer through sheer neglect, through
simply not spending enough quality time together and this is when the ‘negative
police’ creep in and revel in dreary routine and familiar disagreements! Always
think back to the things you used to enjoy as a couple – going out to the cinema,
staying in bed till noon, buying each other little gifts – START DOING THEM AGAIN – plan ahead make a date: just as you did
when you first got together.
WOW Tip - delve
beneath the surface and discover the truth about what a meaningful relationship
would look like for you. Try not to get caught up in illusions created by
others that do not reflect your own reality, needs, and desires
In a nutshell, some think love can be measured by the amount
of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of
flowers, or by using the words ‘forever’. But love can only truly be measured
by actions. It can be a small WOW thing, such as ironing a shirt for a person
or peeling an orange for a person or washing the car for the person you love because
you know they don’t have time or you know they don’t like doing it.
“We've got this gift
of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave
it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to
keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it”. John Lennon
Sonia Cullington / Live, Laugh, Love Coach
No comments:
Post a Comment